Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

yeah, right.

Does anyone actually sit down and read a newspaper in its entirety anymore? Let’s be honest, sometimes the news is simply depressing. From the next celebrity divorce to American politics to the ups-and-downs that define a global economy, I’d understand why some might turn away from the news for the sake of preserving mental health. But honestly, even if the front page of the Wall Street Journal read “Fountain of Youth Discovered in South Dakota” or “Income No Longer Taxed in America” I have a feeling I know what you’d read: the headline. Okay, maybe you’d read the headline and the first paragraph. But that’s it.

I admit that I’m guilty of being a headliner. I read the headlines on the New York Times website, skim the front page and Personal Journal section of the Wall Street Journal, and regularly browse AdWeek and PRWeek’s top stories that, for a marketing nerd, read like candy. Yet more often than not, my interaction with the news goes something like this:

LINDSAY LOHAN CHECKS INTO AND OUT OF JAIL  It was all downhill for her after Mean Girls.

FEDERAL SHARE OF DEBT RISING  What else is new?

LSU TOPS BCS RANKINGS  LSU is not my alma matter, therefore this means nothing to me.

THOUSANDS PROTEST NEW OIL PIPELINE  Weren’t we supposed to run out of oil in 2008 or something? I know I started to read a book on it…

KNEE ARTHRITIS STRIKES AT A YOUNGER AGE  Great!

How do you get your news? I’ve noticed more image-driven slideshows or “today’s news in pictures” on news websites. I’ll admit to occasionally learning about top headlines through my friends’ tweets, although those headlines aren’t necessarily what I’d call “breaking news.” So Kim Kardashian is getting divorced?  Good to know…Red cups back at Starbucks…this calls for a celebration!!! And so it goes.

For those of you who stuck it out and read this post, thanks. Sometimes it’s not so bad to read between the headlines.

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